acme-schlong's Introduction

Acme-Schlong

Fun with Acme::Schlong!

WARNING

This is a pure alpha release -- if you like to contribute, hack away!

SYNOPSIS

This is a raw import from an old stage

I remember, years ago, to have found one arcane incantation on the shell to calcuate your schlong size on your Linux box.

I was both amazed and curious and immediately tried it on my system (which happened to be OSX and it didn't work...).

Next, I tried it on the university's computers. It was way too cool.

Then, years later, I have found Perl::Achievements. It's a fun module.

It's a nice go-ahead-and-contribute-module. I wrote Perl::Achievements::Achievement::SchwartzianTransform for the fun of it.

So here is Acme::Schlong. Go ahead, contribute!

BTW: The arcane incantation was:

 echo `uptime|grep days|sed 's/.*up \([0-9]*\) day.*/\1\/10+/'; cat /proc/cpuinfo|grep MHz|awk '{print $4"/30 +";}'; free|grep '^Mem' | awk '{print $3"/1024/3+"}'; df -P -k -x nfs | grep -v 1k | awk '{if ($1 ~ "/dev/(scsi|sd)"){ s+= $2} s+= $2;} END {print s/1024/50"/15+70";}'`|bc|sed 's/\(.$\)/.\1cm/'

TODO

Find good ways to calculate the following:
- number of users logged in on the system (one user with 9 shells is 1 user.)
- harddisk size
- memory used
- swap used
- harddisk free space
- uptime in minutes
- running time in minutes
- average load
Find good infrastructure so that contributors can:
- easily extend to new metrics
- calculate the new schlong size
- all roles/subclasses are used
Build Task:: Distribution so that everybody can keep his own stuff?
Versioning so that you can say "By metric XYZ your schlong size is XYZ" ?
More robust OS-specific stuff.
Send reports to some website

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