Satan has rised about super-template-tetris

[ceppix]

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a language of class and state
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

I was 'round when Graydon Hoare
Had his moment of rusty pain
Made damn sure that Gosling
collected garbage and sealed Java's fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my fame

I stuck around Bell Labs
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed old C and its acolytes
While Ritchie screamed in vain

I templated struct
watched programmers ruck
As the 90s raged
And the Dot-coms sucked

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah!
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my fame

I watched with glee
While their standard committees
Fought for three decades
For the god they made

I shouted out,
"Who killed Concepts?"
When after all
It was N2906

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a language of class and state
And I tossed syntax errors at freshmen
made 'em switch to business major

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my fame

Oh yeah, SFINAE!

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name

Oh yeah!

But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my fame

Just as every programmer is an amateur
Or so we can infer
As templates are Turing complete
Just call me old Uncle Ceppix
Cause I like to stay discreet

So if you ever use me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and use some constraint
Follow all the core guidelines
Or I'll lay your program to waste

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name

Mm yeah!

But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my fame

SFINAE!

Woo, who
Oh yeah, CRTP it up!
Oh yeah!
Oh yeah!

Tell me, what's my name?
Tell me, user, can ya guess my name?
Tell me, sudoer, what's my name?
I tell you one time, you're to git blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who

Oh, yeah
What's my name?
Tell me: $ what's my name?
Tell me: $ sudo what's my name?

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who

Oh, yeah!

[mattbierner]

Look, I'm fine with Satan rising and all, but it's been like ten months! What the hell is taking him so damn long?

If anyone is in contact with Satan, tell him to catch an Uber on up here and start apocalypsing already! I'd really like to resolve this issue.