Hi there. This is just an update on how I'm doing and where I want to go from here.
I'm so glad I finally wrote this document and made some updates. This took so much out of me.

Please read my Roblox description.
I know this isn't the best way to post updates, but I don't really have a good solution for this.

Also, I've considered reactivating my old Discord account and talking on the CollabVM Discord. I don't want to do that right now, if at all, but I'm just letting you guys know that I've been thinking about it.

I'm doing terrible. I've had a depression at the beginning of 2021 because of all the horrible actions I've taken, but I guess it's slowly going away now since I'm more active on Roblox.
I kept comparing myself to YandereDev, where I associated myself with writing bad code and generally being an unlikeable person.

I still have anger issues which you know me well for, and I haven't figured out how to deal with that.
The anger issues are VERY hard to deal with. Whenever a situation that I don't know how to deal with happens, or when things don't go my way, I just get really upset and have a complete meltdown.

And now, I have these thoughts that I can't deal with.

• "That's easy! I can do that very easily!"
• "I'm better than that person."

Those thoughts happened recently. I've had other thoughts too, but I don't want to discuss those.

I keep forgetting why I'm horrible. I know this is a problem, but I haven't done anything about it. This is why I was sad and felt horrible, because of everything I've done up to this point. I've hurt and insulted so many people, and I keep doing it, but I can't stop, no matter how hard I try.

As for technology in general, I'll still do that here and there. An important thing to note is that I lost interest in that during my depression phase.

I don't feel like talking to anyone, but I feel like I have to if I don't want to lose my sanity. I don't even want to wake up in the mornings, but I feel like I have to exist. I just browse Reddit, watch YouTube, and play Roblox all day.

If for whatever reason, you still don't know where my Roblox profile is, you can find it here.

I'm done with CollabVM. "Windows98_SE" and associated projects will never return, unless I really feel like rejoining.
That's why my first Discord account is inactive. I've actually logged into it a few times and you guys kept watching every move I make. When I changed my profile picture, you would immediately point it out. I didn't want to leave because I'll probably never get a chance to come back if I ever want to. That's why I haven't left the CollabVM server and moved to another account.

And no, 2003ryans.github.io will never return. I heavily regret making that trash site, so much so that I made a holder GitHub account so nobody could make a revival of the site. That violates GitHub's rules, so I deleted that account.

That account is now permanently inactive. I've made some updates to it today, but hopefully that's the last time I ever log into that horrible account.
You can learn more about what wwrecking was and why I don't like it here.
You can find the wwrecking account here.
Yes, I know it's on GitLab, but I've started that repository since early 2020, and I'm too lazy to migrate it to GitHub. Plus, I think people are still watching this GitHub account.

It's honestly a miracle that I haven't been terminated from Roblox yet. I've done SO many horrible things, but I'm still here.

I want to be in my own world, where nobody can bother me. I want to get away from Earth and the universe, and just live in my own world. I still want to be able to interact with Discord, YouTube, Roblox, etc.
As for my hobbies, I've been wanting to do game design, but I haven't actually made anything. I've written down my ideas on private Google Docs, but I haven't drawn any art or made anything.

I'm still active on Roblox now. You'll mostly see me playing Flood Escape 2 or Natural Disaster Survival.